Letting Off Steam

I came to the realization this morning that I have a tendancy to start off every conversation with my sister with the word, kill. I'm not sure why I feel like hostility is the best place to start a conversation, but it seems that's my main objective these days. Maybe that's because I'm struggling with my job or because I'm in the middle of a move. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm being smothered by one of my friends or that the existance of my love life has mysteriously disappeared yet again.

Actually, I don't think it has to do with any of that. I think my hostility to my sister is caused by my lack of backbone. You see, I'm too afraid of everyone else to tell them how frustrating, rude, or stressful they are to me. So instead, I bottle it up until I can vent it to someone I'm not afraid of: my sister.

I have a sinking suspicion that this isn't an effective way to deal with my problems.

Twilight: The Movie

Ok, I'm the first to admit that I'm a huge Twilight fan. I've read all the books(several times), obsessed over Stehpenie Meyer's website, gone to book signings, bought memorabilia, and even went on a tour through the Olympic coast to see landmarks from the book.

I really like Twilight.

I'll even admit to being excited when I heard news that a possible movie was in the making. But I'm here to say that I've officially changed my mind, and I'll tell you why.

(spoiler alert)
For those of you who haven't gotten on the bandwagon yet: Twilight is a book about a girl (Bella) who meets and then falls in love with a vampire (Edward). The whole point of the story is that Bella is completely ordinary and Edward is inhumanly gorgeous, and yet they have this amazing connection that defies logic and instinct.

And let me just say, Edward is the perfect guy. There's nothing he isn't good at. He's got the looks and the brains and the skill, and he's got this whole tortured soul thing going on (which is incredibly attractive, even for a fictional character). Did I mention that he is really, really, really, incredibly, good-looking? Their love story is epic. It's what every girl dreams about - aside from the vampire thing. Which is why almost every woman I know has died over this book as soon as she cracked the cover.

So why are you upset about the movie, you might ask. I'll tell you why...

Because of THIS:

THIS is who they cast as Edward...

I KNOW!!
(For those of you who don't recognize him, this is the guy who played Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.) Now, I realize that some people think he's attractive, but I say to those people, "ARE YOU MENTAL!?"

He looks like a caveman!!!

How is that attractive? Whoever cast this movie must have been high! Did they forget the all-too-important fact that Edward is supposed to be drop-dead gorgeous?!?

Now I'm a pretty positive person. I try to keep up a positive attitude when it comes to things like books being made into movies because I generally like to be happy. So when I first found out about the casting of Edward, I tried to keep a hopeful attitude going about the movie (despite the obscene casting choice). For a while I was bouyed up by the knowledge that they did a pretty good job casting Bella.

The actress herself kind of annoys me, but I think she'll be a pretty good Bella, regardless. In fact, I even went so far as to hope that she could make Robert Pattinson (the caveman) look better.

That was, until my co-worker showed me an update on Stephenie Meyer's website this morning. This is the cast for the cullen family:

...

Oh, no. It's get's better...



Meyer's Website

I'm not even gonna comment on those. Instead, I'm going to move on to the more crucial information we found out this morning: this article from the MTV Movies Blog. In it, Kristen Stewart (the pick for Bella) speaks about her excitement for the movie. For the most part, it was pretty cute the way she gushed about it. At first she seemed to be a fan of Twilight. Well, at least until this part:

"But don’t get fooled into thinking this is going to be 'The Notebook' for the undead. 'The main character is like, superhuman,' Stewart said of the action scenes in the script. 'He’s a vampire, but with really [heightened powers]; he can run faster than a car can drive, and he’s super strong. He throws me over his back [in one scene], right before he’s going to tell me that he’s a vampire, and then he runs over the treetops. And we’re going to be in real treetops; we’re not just going to CGI it. We actually get to go up there, and that’s what I’m stoked on.'"

I'm sorry. WHAT? When, in any of Meyer's three Twilight series books did Edward and Bella run over tree tops? And furthermore, why the heck is Edward running in any forest with Bella before he tells her what he is??? Does this mean that they're cutting out the Port Angeles section, because that just can't happen!

I'm not kidding about this.

The Port Angeles section is one of the best parts of all three books! It's the part I giggled like a school-girl about when I first read it, the part I re-read over and over again during my really obsessed time. It simply cannot be skipped! If I were any more passionate about this, I would be picketing in front of the studio.

It was bad enough that they cast a caveman for the role of Edward, that was already a huge blow. Casting a bunch of average people (with bad wigs) to play the Cullen family just added to the already teetering foundation. But skipping the Port Angeles scene and having Edward all but fly was the last straw!

I'll be honest. I am so disappointed.

AARGH!

I have been angry for a solid week now. I can't say exactly what's making me so mad because it's all the little things that send me into flames.

Like when I come home to find someone parked in my favorite parking spot..."flames".
Or when my boss comes to ask me why I didn't get that major project done in time when he never gave it to me in the first place..."on the sides of my face."
Or when my phone at the office rings off the hook for 3 days, and no one else will bother to pick it up but me (it's not like any of the calls are actually for me anyway!)..."heaving, breathl-- heaving breaths."
Or when my house is a complete disaster because my parents are moving back in and taking all of China with them (a 3 bedroom town house CANNOT fit 50 years of accumulated junk...it's humanly impossible. Try explaining that to my dad though)..."heaving...!"

Now I understand why Mrs. White killed Yvette.